The Czar Song (Unknown)                           
                                                  
A personal friend of the Czar was I, An intimate  
friend of the great Nicholai. We practically      
slept in the same double bed, I at the foot, and  
he at the head.                                   
                                                  
[chorus]:                                         
    But all that seems distant and all            
    that seems far, Were those wonderful          
    nights in the palace of the Czar, when        
    I was shootin' with Rasputin, ate             
    farina with Serena, Blintzes with the         
    princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey.         
    We were sharing tea and herring,              
    dipped banana in spitana, Borscht and         
    vorscht around the samovar, hoo - ha.         
                                                  
Friends with the Czar was I for life, But         
friendlier still was I with his wife. We          
practically slept in the same double bed, Til     
the Czar kicked me out and slept there instead.   
                                                  
[chorus]                                          
                                                  
One bloody day revolution broke out, I went to    
see what the tsimis was about. I finally bid old  
Rushka goodbye, For it was a case of Lenin or I.  
                                                  
[chorus]                                          
                                                  
The boss took my money and left me in the cold,   
All I had left were some rubles and gold. I       
turned about for New York City, Where I got even  
on the Unamerican Activities Committee.           
                                                  
[chorus]